Top 10 worst sex injuries
Sex is a highly physical act, and like any physical activity it comes with its risks of injury. Here are 10 true stories of wince-worthy injuries and mishaps that will have you showing some extra caution the next time you get down to business.
Cats are naturally inquisitive creatures, so how do you think they are going to react if they see you bouncing away on your bed with no clothes on? Unlucky pet owners have suffered deep cuts and scratches on their backs, butts or even worse places as a result of a mid-sex cat attack. Some believe this is a sign of cats trying to protect their owners, whereas others think cats are just a sex-stopping nuisance – either way, be sure to check that your next love making session is feline free.
Eye popping orgasms
Do you go into sex wanting a blinding moment of pleasure? Be careful what you wish for. During particularly intense orgasms, the extreme increase in blood flow can actually lead to ruptured blood vessels in the eyes, causing temporarily reduced vision. Doctors have reported cases of men and women complaining of reddened eyes and damaged eyesight, with seemingly no clear causes until they ‘fess up about the particularly exuberant sex they’d had recently.
If anything will make you more careful over what you use as lubricant then it’s this story. A young man and his girlfriend were staying at his grandmother’s, and when she left the house they decided to have some fun. After searching for lubricant, they found her nitroglycerin paste and decided it would do the job. How wrong they were. The paste caused their blood pressures to plummet, and the grandmother returned to find them unconscious and naked in her basement. Probably not the most treasured memory she has of her precious little grandson.
Perks of the job
One unlucky woman in Australia was having sex in a hotel room when her bed-rocking antics caused the glass light fitting to fall from the ceiling onto her head, injuring her face and mouth. Rather than complaining to the hotel management, the woman instead sued her employers. Why? She was on a business trip, and she claimed they had caused her both physical and psychological damage because the intercourse-related incident took place during work required travel. Her employers rejected the claim, pointing out that the injury was due to what they tactfully described as “a frolic of her own”.
We all know it’s wise to take precautions, but sometimes safe sex isn’t as safe as you might think. While performing oral sex, women have been known to accidentally swallow the condoms that their partners were wearing. Because of the material condoms are made of they are certainly not designed for human digestion, and can lead to severe coughing and breathing difficulties. They might come in tasty flavours, but swallowing them is definitely not advised.
Beware of glasses
When the alcohol is flowing one thing can often lead to another, so it won’t be surprising to hear that beer and wine glasses are one of the items broken most often during sex, second only to bed frames. If you want to avoid painful cuts and sharp objects stuck in places you don’t want them to be, then be sure to clear away any broken glass before you accidentally roll through it in the throes of passion – it happens more often than you would think.
Heart stopping intercourse
Although it might not seem like it because of the amount of fun you’re having, remember that sex is still a form of exercise, with particularly steamy sessions burning over 300 calories in an hour. Research by the Journal of the American Medical Association has found that the increased physical exertion during sexual activity can actually triple your risk of a heart attack in the hours shortly after it.
Sex and sports don’t mix
Sports stars earn millions, are well known celebrities, and are generally in great shape, so it’s easy to see why they find themselves having plenty of sex. However, this high level of sexual activity can actually be detrimental to their careers because of the strain it piles on their joints and muscles on top of their already demanding training schedules. Footballer Kevin-Prince Boateng found this out when he pulled a muscle in his thigh because of his supermodel girlfriend, who apparently demanded sex from him seven to 10 times a week. Poor guy.
Hickeys are the love trophies of teenagers the world over, but they could actually be more dangerous than meets the eye. During sex, a New Zealand woman was given a hickey by her partner, and soon found her left arm partially paralysed. Doctors found that her hoover-mouthed husband’s hickey was so strong that it had caused a blood clot in an artery in her neck, causing her to have a minor stroke.
Bumps, breaks and sprains
Not all sex injuries are over the top or extreme – a UK study found that one third of people admitted to suffering minor injuries resulting from intercourse, including bruises, carpet burns, and sprained wrists and fingers. Five per cent of those surveyed even said they’ve had to miss work because of a sex-related injury, which must be a fun phone call to make to the boss.
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